Surviving the Storm: How to Cope When Life Feels Like Too Much

 Ever felt like you’re drowning, where just as you come up for air, another wave crashes over you? When life decides to pile on the pressure, it can feel relentless—like you’re barely staying afloat.

I know that feeling all too well.

When Everything Goes Wrong at Once

It was my birthday, but instead of celebrating, I found myself exhausted, overwhelmed, and catering to everyone else’s needs. By the evening, all I wanted was an easy dinner—pizza. No energy for cooking, no motivation to go out. So I decided to pick up my husband from work and steal a few quiet minutes for myself.

As I turned into the car park, flashing blue lights filled my mirrors. My stomach dropped. A police officer pulled me over.

Panic set in. What had I done wrong? I’d been behind a slow driver, indicated correctly, and my lights were on. As I rolled down my window, the officer asked for my car papers. I had no idea what he was talking about. We had only lived in the UK for nine months, and paperwork for the car wasn’t exactly something I had memorised.

Frantically searching the glove box, I came up empty. The officer informed me that our MOT had expired, and the car was technically unroadworthy. He let me off with a warning, but the stress lingered.

The next day, we took the car in for an inspection, hoping for a quick fix. Instead, we were told the car wasn’t safe to drive. Repairs would take three weeks and cost £1,000—money we didn’t have. We had a significant family event to attend down south, followed by a holiday. Suddenly, the trip became an expensive logistical nightmare.

We had to book last-minute travel for four people, maxed out our credit card, borrowed money from family, and tried to push through. Then, as if life wasn’t testing us enough, we were pickpocketed. Wallet gone. Hundreds of pounds in foreign currency vanished. The stress, the financial burden, the sheer exhaustion—it all piled up. The holiday, which was meant to be a break, became another layer of chaos.

This wasn’t the first time life had hit us with everything at once. My husband and I don’t seem to do small waves—we ride the Hawaii-sized ones.

But here’s what I’ve learnt: no matter how intense the storm, you can get through it. You just need the right tools.

How to Cope When Life Feels Too Much

When you’re in the thick of it, people love to dish out generic advice: “Just breathe.” “Take one step at a time.” “It’ll all work out.”

But when you’re overwhelmed, those words sometimes don’t land. So instead, let’s get into some practical, perhaps lesser-known ways to regain control when everything feels like too much.

1. Understand Your ‘Window of Tolerance’

Ever felt like you’re either stuck in a spiral of overthinking or completely shut down, unable to function? That’s because when we’re overwhelmed, our nervous system shifts us outside our ‘Window of Tolerance’—the zone where we can think clearly and respond calmly.

• Hyperarousal (too much stress): Racing thoughts, anxiety, feeling on edge.

• Hypoarousal (shutdown mode): Numbness, exhaustion, detachment.

The goal is to widen that window. To do this, try:

• Regulated breathing – Inhale for four, hold for four, exhale for six. The longer exhale helps calm the nervous system.

• Sensory grounding – Hold something cold (ice, a cold drink) or name five things you can see, four things you can touch, three you can hear, two you can smell, and one you can taste.

• Movement – A five-minute walk or stretching can help shift stuck energy.

2. Stop Asking ‘Why’ and Start Asking ‘What Now?’

When life throws everything at us, it’s easy to spiral into why is this happening to me? But ‘why’ keeps you stuck. It focuses on the past, on things out of your control. Instead, shift to what now?

• What’s the very next step I can take?

• What’s one thing I can control right now?

• What’s the smallest action that will move me forward?

For us, it was: book a mechanic, find alternative transport, cut back on unnecessary expenses for the next few months. We didn’t have all the answers, but we focused on what we could do.

3. Make a ‘Crisis List’ for Your Future Self

During high-stress moments, decision-making feels impossible. A crisis list is a pre-made action plan for when things go wrong.

Create a simple note in your phone with two sections:

• Immediate Actions: (e.g., “Go outside for fresh air,” “Text [name] for support,” “Drink a glass of water”)

• Problem-Solving Steps: (e.g., “Check emergency fund,” “Research short-term solutions,” “Write out options”)

This stops you from getting stuck in panic mode and gives you a roadmap when your brain feels scrambled.

4. Regulate Your Nervous System Before Making Big Decisions

Ever noticed that when you’re stressed, every decision feels like life or death? That’s because a dysregulated nervous system puts you in survival mode, making even small choices feel overwhelming.

Before making any big decision:

• Eat something grounding (carbs help settle stress hormones).

• Engage in slow, rhythmic movement (walking, yoga, even swaying can help).

• Delay the decision if possible—even 10 minutes of regulation can change your perspective.

5. Reframe ‘I Can’t Handle This’ to ‘I Have Handled Hard Things Before’

In moments of crisis, our brain convinces us that we can’t cope. But if you pause and reflect, you’ll realise—you have survived tough times before.

Think back to a time when you faced a challenge and got through it. What did you do? What strengths did you lean on? Reminding yourself of past resilience can shift your mindset from I can’t to I’ve done it before, and I can do it again.

The Storm Will Pass

The truth is, sometimes life will feel like it’s throwing everything at you. It will feel unfair, exhausting, and at times, utterly relentless. But no storm lasts forever.

You don’t need to have all the answers. You just need to focus on what’s next. Take care of yourself first. Regulate your nervous system. Shift your focus to what you can do. Reach out for support. And most importantly, remind yourself: you have faced hard times before, and you will get through this too.

One step at a time, you will find your way back to calmer waters.